How many times since I've been a teenager have I been asked this question: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
A LOT.
Why does society think that as soon as we turn the ripe 'ol age of 13 that we should begin "dating"?
Why do our friends and family make us feel that we must have a boyfriend (or vice versa) or there is something wrong? Television, magazines, movies, etc. throw these things in our faces all the time.
I remember watching the Disney show Lizzie McGuire when I was around 12 or 13 and thinking that I should be like this character, Lizzie. She had cute clothes, a fun personality, cool friends, and yes, she had love interests at the age of 14. I wondered, "If no boys seem to pay me any attention, is there something wrong?" Because, no, I did not have a boyfriend at that age. And I didn't have a huge group of boys knocking outside my door, either.
And you know what? It’s quite alright.
I see notifications on my news feed on Facebook all the time stating, "So-and-so is now in a relationship with so-and-so." Guess how old some of these 'so-and-so's are.
Around 12 or 13.
Why? Why is it so cool in our society to be able to say, "I'm in a relationship.”? What do you do in a relationship when you're 13? Ask your parents to drop you off at the movies a few times and basically set yourself up for heartache in the end.
If you start "dating" at such a young age, you're never going to want to be without someone at your side. (Typically.) You’ll want another as soon as something goes wrong with the current one.
Why aren’t pre-teens and teens just satisfied with hanging out with their family and friends and enjoying the youthful years?
While I see the notifications of people being "in a relationship," I also see a lot of "So-and-so is now single."
What is the point of having a boyfriend or girlfriend for a little while, only to move on to another one in a few weeks? Why have a boyfriend or girlfriend just to say that you have one?
It just irks me.
I'm not going to say that people MUST wait to date the one that they think they are going to marry and never date anyone besides that. I just think it's not very wise to simply date around for the fun of it (and especially to begin at such an early age).
I just don’t want to put myself through the heartache of having a long list of failed ‘relationships’.
I think that (1) a relationship should start with friendship.
Get to know them. As you develop a close friendship and realize that there’s more there, that’s great. After all, don’t you want the person you fall in love with and marry to also be the one that you can tell everything to and be your closest friend? Seems pretty important to me.
(2) that you should be able to see yourself potentially marrying that person.
Because isn't that the goal? To find the person you're supposed to spend your life with?
Like I said, I don’t necessarily believe you are required to only date one person. But if you do and realize that they are the one you are meant to be with, awesome. I hope that happens for me.
Why not avoid the petty stuff and wait until you find something that could be serious?
So yes, I’ve been asked ten million times if I have a boyfriend in the last 7 years or so. I’ve had a massive slap-in-the-face realization in just the last month or so, though. I want to be the girl that I would want someone to date and eventually marry. I have things to learn and maturing to do before I should be in a real relationship. I have priorities to get in order. I don’t want to have a negative impact on another person. We often think about the type of character, etc. that we want to see in another person, but what about the things that we need to take a look at in ourselves? I think that a relationship should revolve around seeking Christ together; if we're not both becoming more like Christ, it's not the type of God-glorifying relationship that it should be.
I really like a song called “Learning How to Love.” One line says:
“While waiting, I’ll keep taking steps for you.”
I’ll never have it all put together…But by the time I get to that point in my life, I want to be a much more God-focused, mature, considerate, selfless, compromising person (and much more). Pursuing the Lord and following Him is the only way for that to happen, but it shouldn't be done in order to get something else, such as a guy. God is more than satisfying, and if He wants to bring a guy into my life for His glory, then so be it. If not, I'll do His will without one.
For now...
For now...
“I’m still learning how to love.”
